In LA

We've made it to LA, as in Los Angeles, not lower Alabama. I have the following observations:

1. We're not the freakiest thing here.

2. No one stares at us.

3. The papparazi photograph stars, not tourists. I'm not quite hip enough to recognize the girl, but the crowd of photographers did.

4. There are no baby changing stations in the restrooms. Seriously, who would have thought any public place in America didn't have them.

Waiting for the red-eye to the real LA...

-- Post From My iPhone

Chen Family Temple, Goodbye China and Some Answers

We went to the Chen Family Temple today. It is now a museum chronicling art forms of the Guangzhou region--jade carving, ivory carving, embroidery and so forth. It is really very nice. The last time we were in China, they were doing repairs to the facade. It is now all freshly painted and lovely. It's hard to pick photos, since this is our third visit to the temple. Hard to remember what we've posted before.

Today is our last day in China. We leave about 9 pm tonight, which is roughly 8 am central time. We have about 25 hours of travel time and will be in Mobile at 9:05 am, Saturday, assuming all the flights go smoothly and the tropical storms turn south. Hope to see y'all at the airport!!

As this part of our adoption journey comes to a close, I thought I would answer some unasked questions, in case anyone wanted to know.

Why adopt? We need kids. An empty house would be lonely.

Why China? China is a very straightforward process for international adoption. They have been stable for many years, without major shutdowns. It is a one trip country, with roughly two weeks in country. It is also a somewhat guaranteed place (at least right now). If you do the paperwork and get in line, you will eventually get a child. 


Why Special Needs and Why this Child? This is a much harder question. Not because the answers are complicated, but because it is easy to get on my special needs soapbox and it is also easy to come across as self righteous or overly obnoxious. When we started our first adoption process almost 5.5 years ago, the wait time for China was around 8-9 months, meaning, once your paperwork went to China, you would get a referral and travel in less than a year. In the 11 months it took us to complete our dossier, the wait went to about 18 months. It has only gotten slower and the most recent families receiving regular program children waited 5 years. It is estimated that if we had stayed in that program, we would receive a referral in 2 more years, so 7 years from log in and almost 8 years from starting, for our first child. This led us to look at the special needs program way back when we adopted J.

Special needs adoption from China is a broad category. There are children with very minor needs, like birth marks or minor heart murmurs that are on the list. Things that make them less than 'perfect', but at the same time, things that will resolve spontaneously or with minor surgery. There are also children with more profound needs that can be life-threatening and life-altering. And everything in between. J, whom we adopted in 2007, is what is considered minor correctable. She had one surgery in China and has had absolutely no additional follow-up, testing, anything related to her surgery. And never will. K is considered a moderate need. He will have lifelong issues related to it, but will grow up to function normally in society and, for the most part, people are unaware of the severity of his sight issues. We personally look at E's needs as moderate, although some would consider her severe. She will require surgery and prosthetics, but will still have a normal life. For both K and E, the medical and supportive care they need is simply not available in China.


So, why this child? The last two adoptions for us have been intentionally waiting child. Part of that process is filling out a checklist of needs you are willing to accept. The placing agency uses this to find the best match for your family. It is extensive. As we were going through the process this time, praying, thinking, looking at files, it occurred to me that every need listed on the checklist was not a medical condition, but a child, made in the image of God, by God (Ps 139:13-15, Gen 1:27). Two other things profoundly affected me as we worked our way through the process. One was the passage in Acts where Peter is dreaming about the unclean foods and God tells him "don't call what I have cleaned unholy" (Acts 10: 9-16). I began to feel like I was passing judgement on what God had created, deciding what was good and what was not, forgetting the Maker, who saw them all as good. The other thing was Isaiah 61:1-3 "beauty for ashes". I look at E and I see beauty, while others look at her and see ashes. There is no mourning for her, only a bright future and hope.

So, yes, E has profound leg deformities. But please don't look at her with pity. There are two thousand waiting children in china who need pity, but E has hope.

Five Goats Garden

Daddy bottle bonding time

You just think I'm wearing clothes today

We went to the five goats garden again today, but this time we took a camera. There is actually a lot of stuff there besides the five goats statue. There is a Korean style garden, a swimming pool, a small lake, and a museum. We got a stroller this week. Not the best for bonding, but it's hot here and it's really hot to walk around with a baby on you. She thinks it's some form of torture. We've slowly worked her up to the not screaming her head off stage, but she does not feel the stroller love.

Smiley Miss Baby

Look whose holding baby today!

Yuntai Garden

Today we went to Yuntai Garden, which is my favorite place in China. It's beautiful, peaceful, uncrowded, tranquil. Someday I want to go really early in the morning, without a newly adopted baby, and photograph for hours.  Here is a brief selection of photos, bad lighting and all.

Baby overall continues to do quite well. She is happy most of the time. She is having some night terrors, which are just miserable. Miserable for us, that is. She still has a mommy preference, but will let daddy play with her a little more. Still not able to hold her, but he can at least entertain her for brief periods while mommy is busy. She is eating better. She eats a lot of fried rice and watermelon. And french fries. She is trying to self feed with a fork and spoon. Messy. And since she refuses to sit in a high chair, it's a little messy for mommy, too. It's really been a good trip, but I'm ready to come home.

We did the physical exam today.  Baby weighed in at ....drum roll... 15 pounds. Oh yeah, she's a heavyweight. She is 24 inches to her knees.  J was 18 pounds and 29 inches when we adopted her, so I think some of the smallness is the lack of full legs. The doctors lacked bedside manner. Twenty minutes of chatting, yelling, consultation amongst the doctors was translated by our guide as "they say she has a severe leg deformity and nothing can be done." So I have some breaking news for you who don't know, baby has leg deformities. Prosthetics now are amazing. Her future is full of possibility.

We did a little shopping on the island before heading back to the hotel. We're both missing the familiar comfort of the island right now, but I'm sure the pure luxury of the China Hotel will soon win us over. 

Guangzhou

We've made it to Guangzhou.  Today we will get E's physical examination and TB test done, and drop off some laundry (thank goodness).

We are staying in the China Hotel and it is schwanky.

Yes that is a full window from the potty all the way to the bedroom.

Schwanky.

Add caption

Dr. Sun Yat-Sen is considered the father of Modern China.

Today was another sight seeing day. We went to the Sun Yat-Sen Mausoleum. It is a lot of stairs, which sounds like it wasn;t enjoyable, but it was very nice. I learned, however, that a black baby carrier in the hot sun is very hot. Baby was hot and unhappy. We had to take her out and carry her in our arms.

Two things happened overnight. Baby found her voice. She was absolutely silent on Monday and Tuesday, yesterday we got some crying, but today she has more vocalizations. No true words, but no more silence. She will sometimes say bye bye. The other change was a sudden mommy preference. No more holding by daddy or playing with him. It is another good bonding step, but makes the days more challenging. I keep telling myself someday everyone will go to college and I can go to the bathroom alone.

Here's a few extra pics of our hotel and the Confucious temple...

Our Hotel, the Mandarin Garden

The quay along the river across from the Temple

...and the City Gate of Nanjing.

and a gratuitous baby shot:

Today was a free day and we went sight seeing. We went to the Confucius Temple grounds this morning, but not the temple itself, early, since E thought a good wake up time would be 5 am. It is close to the hotel we are at. We have actually walked over there several times, but finally took the camera today. It is usually very crowded with tourists and hawkers. People pay to put these red ribbons onto a gold tree. I'm not sure why, but it is really pretty.



The grounds are near a river and the dragons are on the wall across from the temple. It is suppose to be very pretty at night, with lights and lanterns.

We also went to the city gate, which is pretty much what it sounds like, an ancient city gate. The bricks have sayings or poetry written on them.

Happy Baby! We are having a pretty good day. E has turned into a velcro baby, and is not very happy away from mom. But, she does still let dad hold her and play with her, giving mom some breaks. She is grumpy at sleep times and will pitch a royal fit about laying down. She is also eating a little better today. She had pretty much only done bottles since we received her Monday, but today she ate quite a bit at breakfast and lunch. We still are not sure what to feed her and even bought some baby food. Shopping in the chinese markets is always a challenge. We thought we bought some mushed up pears. There were lovely pears on the jar. And lots of chinese text. What we really got was pear juice (which has been summarily rejected by the princess). We did better on our second run and came home with actual baby food, which was thought yummy at dinner but blech at breakfast.




We've been working on this adoption for almost 19 months. I bought this bib for Uncle Don probably half way through the process. It used to say he was hot and single, but we had to alter that to hot and taken. You still owe her a quarter.

The Adoption is Final.

Signing papers in triplicate with thumbprints

We went to the adoption office again today to sign the final paperwork and get Eleanor's official adoption certificate.  She woke this morning unsure of her surroundings but being very brave about her situation.

She's still unsure about what is happening around her, but there is good evidence that she was very loved and we expect that the bonding will be strong when it happens.  The experience of us and others is that well cared-for children have an easier time transferring the bonding to their parents.

Tickle tickle.

We look like we're testifying before congress

More tickle tickle

At left, the orphanage director, to the right, the man who handles adoption paperwork.  We traded email addresses, so we can send photos of her college graduation in 2031